I blame Ian Barker, who captioned the attached photo of me as: '"...and then I choked him" [discussing a visit from UKIP to the stall]'
Warning: xenophobic and violent imagery to follow, along with the worst rhyme I think I've EVER perpetrated…
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That candidate's a nasty man
He's got a lot of gall
To bad-mouth immigration
When he steps up to my stall
He's got a lot of gall
To bad-mouth immigration
When he steps up to my stall
He says: "Is this poem foreign?
"For I shan't have none of that!"
I say: "That word comes from the Greek
"You narrow-minded prat."
"For I shan't have none of that!"
I say: "That word comes from the Greek
"You narrow-minded prat."
I add: "While we're on the subject:
"With a surname such as yours,
"It's ten to one your family
"Came here from other shores."
"With a surname such as yours,
"It's ten to one your family
"Came here from other shores."
"Never mind the fact that immigration
"Is far less to blame
"Than your old mates the bankers
"With their nasty little games."
"Is far less to blame
"Than your old mates the bankers
"With their nasty little games."
I feel I gave fair warning
But he wouldn't stop his rant
So I put him in a chokehold
To inspire him to recant.
But he wouldn't stop his rant
So I put him in a chokehold
To inspire him to recant.
I helped him show his colours -
In fact, he was a couple -
A yellow little coward
Turned that hateful UKIP purple.
In fact, he was a couple -
A yellow little coward
Turned that hateful UKIP purple.
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