2020.18 Bingo

CN: stereotypical #ableism, #microaggressions, reclaimed language. Image courtesy of @pinsandpro

I am Schrödinger’s cripple:
Simultaneously making a fuss
And not doing enough to get better.
I am popping too many pills
And insufficiently exercising
(while taking up too much space
with my physiotherapy).

I am reading too much on the internet
And making myself upset
While egregiously ignoring the sagacity
Of this particular specimen
And his turmeric obsession
(it’s excellent for everything!).

I am paying the steep price of:
Not enough sleep
And too much sleep
And the wrong quality sleep
And the wrong sleep position
(try a different pillow).

I should be seeking a physician –
Their mission is to improve me –
While eschewing their advice –
My essential tricyclic painkiller is a myth
(distributed by the shills
of Big Pharma).

I just need to be calmer,
Balance my karma,
Yoga my way out of this,
Dismiss the advice of the
Physiotherapists who banned it for me
(we’ve had enough of experts).

I should eat more vegetables,
While cutting out peppers
And pepper, and meat, and cheese,
And gluten, but not nutritional yeast
(easily the best thing since
disassembled bread).

No wonder I’m so fucking tired.
Viewing the queue of “Have You Tried…?”
Mired in the sucking muck of
Everyday symptoms
(and special symptoms),
And your persistent implications that
I am failing at Being Disabled.

Did you know that
The best way to dismiss
Your (invisible) chronic illness crip
Is to insist that
Their fatigue is in league with lies
Disguised as fine?

Did you know that
Ridding yourself of the
Inconvenience of the narrative
Of lived experience is, at best,
A jest among the rest of us
(but ultimately magnificently toxic)?

Did you know that,
In these Interesting Times,
Your online presence is
Starting to resemble ours?
(we were buying online groceries
before it was cool mandatory made impossible by you).

Now you know our reliance on
Online friends;
Now you know our fear of
Physical contact;
Now you know our need for
People to actually wash their fucking hands
(properly).

Now you know these things
Maybe you’ll put the effort in
When we’re all safe
(or maybe even now)
To bending your ears our way,
And hearing what we’ve truly got to say.

Just because we put the effort in
To diminish the inconvenience of
Our existence (for your benefit)
The rest of the time, doesn’t mean
That we’re dissembling when we speak of
Fatigue, or pain, or the gains to be made
From you leaving us be for a minute.

Explicitly, of course, I don’t speak for
All of us here –
We’re not a monolith –
But I can tell you this:
The thing we’re all sick of
Is people who refuse to listen
(so please: let this lesson stick).

Image source: Pins & Procrastination via reddit/r/ChronicPain